Two Sides Of The Same Coin
by Garfield71
Summary: What if the one thing you want to to get out of yor life is the Doctor but it is just not possible. Sequel to my A Full Circle, I recommend to read that first to understanding the difficult realtionship my OC has with 10.
1. Chapter 1

Hi folks

Here comes the sequel to my story A Full Circle. It's the story of an OC who stumbles into Doc 10 and how the events that follow turn his life upside down. The story is hinted in the first chapter, but to fully understand his difficult relationship with the Doctor it would help to read A Full Circle.

Again, I'm not a native English speaker, so if you like this and want to help improve it, contact me, beta readers are greatly appreciated.

...

Chapter One

...

_A few months later, the impact, of my little adventure with the Doctor on my life became less and less deniable. I had contacted professor Miller, my old doctoral advisor and the outcome couldn't be called anything else than devastating. At work I incurred dark looks from my colleagues because I had been just moody and unproductive lately. Then Jack left earth for good, and I startet to fall back into my old drinking habit. I felt cornered by Martha's attempts to coach my return to my old, brand new life. I hadn't answered her calls and mails for ten days, I was indulging in denial when one evening the doorbell rang. It was Martha. I wanted to slam the door shut in her face but she was quick enough to put a foot in. _

"_David! We have to talk!"_

"_No. You have. I don't," I retorted  
_

_But she was fiercly determined. There wasn't much of a chance to get rid of her so easily now, so I gave in. "All right, come in then, stay, if you can't help it, but you'll not get me into more problem blah..." I returned back to my messy living room. _

_Martha followed me, eying my laptop and the open beer on the cluttered table with a frown on her pretty face, but didn't comment it. She thew a pile of clothes off of one of my chairs and settled down, ignoring my icy mood. She just started telling me a story. I didn't really want to hear anything about travels through time and space, but she continued. It was about a a trip to the end of the wold, a professor named Yana and a year that never was. Her year that never was. _

_By the time she had ended I felt quite sympathetic for her. I hadn't known, what she had been through with the Doctor. But she had an advantage I thought. Her ordeal was over. She had a good job, a nice husband and I could only congratulate her for her ability to adapt to all this madness. But it rather increased my frustration. _

_"Ah, and what about my life that never will be?" I shot at her._

"_David, honestly, you call alcoholism, drugs and sex affairs a life? I..." _

_I felt hot blood rush into my head and cut her short. _"_What do you care! Is it your business, what life I want to lead?" Of course, it was her business, I thought bitterly. The Doctor had made it her business._

"_But according to the Doctor, it's going to be all right" she tried to console me, looking at me with these soulful brown eyes that would have pretty much melted my soul under different circumstances. _

"_Yeah. According to the Doctor." I yelled, "Your life is still your life. But mine is not mine anymore. Last week I got a decline from Professor Miller's office. I called him to persuade him to take me back as a doctorand. I pleaded him. You know what he said? Only over his dead body." I continued with slightly more moderate voice, "Martha, he can't stand me. And maybe he`s right. And now I have to bow and scrape, not to say crawl in front of that man until maybe he gives in?"_

_For a moment, there was an awkward silence..."Oh dear!" She replied, "That's bad news! Maybe the Doctor can..."_

"_The Doctor, the Doctor, always the Doctor. His this, his that." I burst out, "Know what? I'm sick of it. Of what he's done to me! I get claustrophobic, every time somebody mentions the word doctor." It was good to let off some steam. But I was aware, that it betrayed my true feelings to her, what __meant, that she would probably set said Doctor on my tracks to "set me right". Well, my behaviour lately would have caused that sooner or later anyway. This was so hopeless! I slumped back in in my chair. "Martha, thanks for all your concern, it's better you go now." I sighed. Her fingers stroked along the perception filter she wore around her neck whenever we met. She opened her mouth to reply something surely meant to reassure me, but I cut her off. I liked her, personally. A lot. But I had lately become so tired of her attempts to babysit me. She had just no idea what I was going through! _

"_No. You can say whatever you like. I don't want consolation. I want that stuff out of my head. I don't want to see people die, that I know, I have the means to save. I want to be close to people without the constant nagging feeling that I can't be completely honest, and have to hide something from them. Have you and idea, how it has been at work for me lately? I don't want to lead a double life. I don't want to know my future! That's all. And you can't give that to me. So just leave!" I looked into her eyes. What I saw was just deep concern and I couldn't bear it. "Please go now." I asked her quietly._

_When I finally had succeeded to usher her out of my flat, I downed another beer. My mind was getting pleasantly foggy, but I was restless. A stroll through dark, cold London led me to some boozer. I just wanted to forget. Getting tanked up. Alone but in like minded company. And spent the greater part of the night doing that successfully._

_I just remember that my return home that night involved some vaguely familiar face and my desire to punch it, a taxi, and not wanting to be brought home. _

_..._

_When I opened my eyes again, light seeped softly through the curtains of my bedroom window. I had just enough time to move my spinning, aching head over the bucket, that somebody had left at my bedside, then I convulsed. In my misery I heard the floor boards creak. I felt somebody leaning over me, supporting my shoulder and head while I heaved and wretched miserably to empty my stomach into that bucket._

_Fortunately he had the sensitivity to spare me any fuss or claptrap and just quietly handed me a towel and then a glass of water. My stomach wouldn't even keep the water, so just seconds later I was hanging over the bucket again. _

_Martha had indeed set him on me after our encounter last night. Although I hadn't anticipated that he would turn up at that bar to find me roaring drunk... I refrained form any whining about my misery and suffered in silence. I was almost glad, that I was so busy throwing up, because somewhere between my anger, fear and also shame, it was an excuse that I didn't have to talk to him._

_..._

_When I woke up, the first thing I saw was the disturbingly red display of my alarm clock. It showed 2.46 PM! My sluggish, aching brain reported, that this was somehow not good, concerning that it was Tuesday. Work! I had to call my boss! I grasped for the mobile, but it wasn't at it's usual place on my night stand. I vaguely remembered, that I had been drinking at a bar last night. Now I was in my bed, in pyjamas, sick and with a sour taste in my mouth. That could only mean one thing. A memory crept lazily into focus. Martha and, of course, who else, him. A sense of panic welled up in my mind, but another sensation became prominent, it told me, that my next destination was definitely the toilet, dealing with the Doctor had time. I sat up rather more quickly than advisable in my condition and then got up, opened the curtains and staggered to the bathroom, zigzagging around the junk on the floor as good as I could. _

_There was the Doctor's blue box, parked in my living room. The doors were open. I spotted the Doctor on my sofa, in his usual pinstriped suit and trainers, just where the night before Martha had been sitting. He was playing with my laptop, expectantly looking up at me. But I decided to pretend, he and his blasted ship weren't there. That was pretty much my standard way of conflict management, which had already cost me one or two relationships. I just wished, it cost me this one, but in this case I reckoned, my chances were rather slim. The Doctor just raised a very worried eyebrow, when I bolted past him. It somehow reflected Martha's expression the other day. But fortunately, again, he didn't address me. _

_When I had released myself, I rinsed the foul taste from my mouth. With a groan, I lowered my head into the sink and turned the tap. The cold water brought instant relief and I just let it flow for a very long time, as if it there had been a chance, that the water could wash away all my sorrows and problems along with the pain. I wished, that I could lock myself up in my bathroom for indefinite time to escape the unavoidable._

_After some time and despite that I had locked it, the door opened and a freckled face lined with concern appeared in the gap. Great! Not even in my bathroom he could leave me alone!_

"_David, let me help you. Please!" He squeezed his lanky frame in and settled down on the rim of the bath tub, watching me from under his unruly mop of hair. I hastily turned off the water, grabbed a towel and fled the bathroom without comment, the Doctor jumping up and following me. There was just no escape from him. I slumped in my chair and buried my head in my hands as a last resort. He squat down in front of me and covered one of my hands with his, his eyes searching mine. I wished I had been able to shout out my frustration, but instead I recoiled, like an injured earthworm recoils into its hole._

"_I know. Martha told me. Don't try to run away, come with me. I'll try to find a way to fix this." He said softly, "And if we don't, I can wipe your memories. The full version or partial, your choice."_

_I looked him in the face for the first time. He was seriously meaning it. "And what about the future?"_

"_It's your life. Not my choice to make." I thought of the dark ages that he had promised for humanity if I didn't function properly as the little cog wheel in human history. A future, that I probably wouldn't get to see but he had to live with. What choice did I have! Could I actually let him wipe my memories, knowing, what it would cause?_

_He laid a shabby gray book in my lap. It was my old dissertation, with the message in it. "David, you gave me this book. Or, you will give me this book. There must be a way. It has happened. Somehow. Come with me. Holidays. Time to think and sort it out. Okay?" He locked his gaze onto my eyes and held it until I replied with a faint, uncertain nod._

"_Good!" Relieved, he blew out a puff of air, releasing some of his tension. My eyes wandered to the telephone, my boss! _

"_I've made that call for you. Don't worry. You're free for the rest of the week. However long it will take." The Doctor reassured me. I watched some water from my hair drip onto the booklet. and shoved the thing back into the Doctor's hands as if it was some kind of dangerous animal, not an innocent book. Well, it was not an innocent book. No. There was no easy way out. And on top of it my headache slowly returned._

_I took a shower and two Aspirin, dressed slowly and packed up a few things into a sports bag. The Doctor shepherded me into his ship, where I slumped down on the raggedy bench. The place gave me the strangest feeling. I couldn't help to admit, some part of me had missed the Tardis.  
_

"_It's gonna be okay. Trust me." The Doctor's cheery grin didn't quite convince me, but I nodded_

"_All right then!" I swallowed hard and grasped the railing behind me, when he started spinning around the console like a mad pianist mistreating his instrument. The column began to pulse and glow and only an instant later, to the sheer delight of its owner, the Tardis began to rock and shake like a bucking horse throwing off a rider. _

_A tiny little bit of the exhilaration of the experience just started to rub off on me, when, when with an ear shattering screech of the engine and a sudden outburst of violence the ship lurched almost upside down. What followed then could be described as the experience of a mouse in a tumble drier. In an instant I was completely sober. I clung to the seat for dear life, over all that noise heard the Doctor's screams. It can't have been very long. Maybe a minute. Then, abruptly the ship was steady once more. The deafening screeching and howling of the engine ended and turned into its usual, low, comforting hum. I pulled myself up on the seat, panting like a marathon runner. For a moment, I thought we were safe now, although I was not sure if I wanted to know, where this obvious malfunction had brought us._

_Then all of a sudden, the hum started to fade and the lights went dim. The Doctor, who had clung to the railings during this hell ride sprinted to the console and in a frenzy lifted some parts of the floor grating underneath. He crawled into the abdomen of his ship, not rambling gibberish, as usual, but working with grim and silent determination. He completely ignored me, I wouldn't have been much of a help to him anyway. It dawned onto me, that the outcome of our first encounter might not have been some nasty coincidence. The Doctor was probably one of these individuals who attracted havoc wherever he went. Maybe he even was the reason for the turmoil in the first place. I asked myself, why the hell a ship with travelling habits that violent had no seats with safety belts. Probably because the Doctor liked it that way... I rubbed my head, that had collided with something hard during the ride and seriously questioned my sanity for even setting a foot on board of his Tardis, after what I had been through with the Doctor the first time round.._

„_Oh no, no NO! Not again! Please, you can't do that to me!" I heard his muffled pleading that was followed by the clanking of his mallet. _

_The life signs of the Tardis stabilised. But a moment later it was shaken by a deep, resonating boom. The lighting flickered and the gravity field destabilised for an instant, commented by a high pitched„What!" by the Doctor. _

_It felt like an impact of some sort. According to all I knew about the Tardis, this was not supposed to happen. Not at all. And since it obviously frightened even the Doctor, I was getting slowly more than a little uneasy._

_Grimacing he crawled out of the ships engines, jumped to his feet, hunched over the console to get to the screen. He switched it to exterior images and we both saw, where the Tardis had brought us._

_Into the orbit around a blue-green world, into the middle of a space battle. The Doctor gaped at that scene, transfixed to the spot and did... nothing._

„_Doctor, ah... wouldn't it be wise to dematerialize, you know, get away from here, do something?" I carefully addressed the Time Lord._

„_Wise? Yeah. There is just this little problem, see, ... I can't! Sorry..." He scratched his jaws, gave me an unnervingly goofy grin and started gyrating the console like a madman once more, turning switches seemingly at random. Then he stopped dead, dropped out of his self absorption, and froze there for a moment. I just watched him, flabbergasted. And frightened._

"_This universe out there is not our universe." He finally addressed me. I was really happy, that finally I got some explanation, but that wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear. "We somehow made it into a parallel reality. What shouldn't have happened at all, because under given circumstances it's impossible! My Tardis is not compatible with the energy here, we're cut off from anything she can use."_

"_So we are stuck here forever?" I asked him in sheer disbelief. _

"_Ah no. Don't worry. I can fuel her from my life energy for one jump, but this will take time. A few days." He shrugged, face lined with tension. _

„_So this out here" I pointed in sheer disbelief up to the ceiling of the console room, „This is not our universe anymore? Do I get this right?" I asked him to make sure, I had understood what he had just said. _

„_Yeah... I know, it's a bit hard to understand..." He ruffled his hair apologetically._

„_So we are out of gas in the midst of a space battle in a parallel universe?" _

„_Yep. I'm afraid, you nailed it." He replied with a wry grin. My mood went from the bad of this morning to below zero, as we watched the events outside. It seemed that the planet was under attack from an armada of ships and we had so far been hit only because we were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, not target of the attack._

"_Oh great!" I exclaimed, I just opened my mouth to smother the Doctor with a flood of reproaches, when suddenly the Tardis sounded its weird alarm. The Doctor started to move his hands frantically over some switches. _

„_Dammit, they are scanning us!"_

_Then the alarm ended as abruptly as it had begun._

_We both watched the screen to see what happened. All of a sudden, first one and then two more huge crimson red space ships appeared. They seemed to disable the attacking crafts. As the Doctor watched this scene, his jaw dropped and he just stared blankly at the screen. The expression of sheer, exasperated disbelief on his face could only mean that what happened out there was really bad._

„_Did they just use transmat technology to travel here? I thought, that this was impossible, the range, the mass of a big object like a ship..." He tore his gaze loose from the screen and stared at me with a feverish frenzy in his eyes. "Yeah, quite impossible, to transmat ships from one star system to another." He replied. His eyes wandered back to the screen, transfixed, he knitted his eyebrows and arched over the console to get a better view, his nose practically touching the screen._

„_These are …."_

_He turned to me, with a look of utter terror on his face. „Tardises!"_


	2. Chapter 2

_He tore his gaze loose from the screen and looked at me with a feverish frenzy in his eyes. "Of course it's impossible to transmat ships from one star system to another." His eyes wandered back to the screen, he stared at it, transfixed, knitted his eyebrows and arched over the console to get a better view. _

„_These are …."_

_He turned to me, with a look of terror on his face. „Tardises!"_

_..._

_He clutched his head with both hands, slowly sinking to the floor, staring into space with an odd, absent expression. Alarmed, I kneeled down beside him. _

„_What's wrong, Doctor?" He reluctantly broke away from his fit of reverie, rubbing his temples and squinted at me. „No... no! Its just... they are... they are..." He stuttered, „They are alive!" He stared at me in wide eyed wonder._

_Suddenly a loud clanking noise echoed through the Tardis. On the monitor appeared a human (was it really human?) face._

„_Doctor, I think, they are hailing us." Slowly he composed himself, got up, still holding his head with one hand and turned to the screen._

„_Unidentified Tardis, prepare for docking and boarding!" The face ordered brusquely. „Don't try to dematerialize. Resistance is futile!" Then the screen turned black._

_Now my jaw dropped._

„_Is this some kind of Tardis space marine?"_

„_Looks very much that way... I'd say..." He hunched, with a painful expression on his face and shrugged._

„_Time Lords?"_

_He nodded uncomfortably._

„_Oh my god, you said, your people were completely above interfering with us lowly creatures."_

„_Yeah, erm... they were... But apparently not here...Not in this reality!" He looked up at me, "This here is not our universe. Not our history!"_

_I tried to digest this news. _„_How parallel are parallel universes then? Will there be another me or you? Will they help us?"_

_He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it, his usual gesture when he was at wit's end and answered pensively. „No idea, really. Could be.. But maybe not."_

_Another clank echoed through the Tardis. A moment later the doors flew open and with loud shouts a squadron of soldiers in red combat armour stormed the console room, took position and aimed the barrels of their weapons at us. Some of them jumped the Doctor and me. They forced me to the floor. I yelped in pain when they twisted my arm onto the back, immobilising me to search me for weapons. I held my breath, a knee painfully between my shoulder blades. Then I was handcuffed. They were doing the same to the Doctor. All his attempts to appease them and talk himself out of it was utterly useless and just caused one more eruption of rude shouting._

_Next, two senior officers in dress uniform entered the console room and took a look around._

_One of the soldiers saluted, "Sir, the place is secured, we found these two terrorists, one Time Lord, one human. Scanner indicates no more higher life forms. The reading of the Tardis shows strange malfunctions. But nothing that poses a threat. They were unarmed, but we found this here with the Time Lord." I could see, that he handed his superior the sonic screwdriver. The Doctor and I were pulled up to our feet._

„_Welcome on board, this is a misunderstanding, I can assure you, I'm not a ..." The Doctor greeted the officers, but the soldiers just readied their guns. The square built officer cut the Doctor short, barking at him „You only talk when you are ordered to. One of the renegades, ha? Turned to traitor, haven't you? I am telling you one thing. This is not going unpunished! So. Who are you!"_

„_I'm the Doctor and this is.." He didn't come any further. The expression of the second officer turned from haughty distaste to to blatant hatred. „You rebel scum dare!" He grabbed his rifle and brutally rammed it's handle it into Doctor's guts. The Doctor went down with a wince of pain. The officer kicked him in the back. Hard. I wanted to aid him but the guards seized me. I gasped when __they twisted my arm to the back again._

„_That isn't necessary" the superior interfered, reprimanding his subordinate._

„_No. But it serves those bastards right", the other spat._

_The superior frowned. „Dev, stop it! You can't hold that one personally responsible for Aktios 3, just because he is insolent and a renegade." He turned to his men._

„_Take them into custody and inform engineering and intelligence that they can turn this Tardis upside down. And get the surgeon for that one." He pointed at the Doctor. Then he turned on his heel, and disappeared in the gateway. Two guards were dragging the Doctor there, too. I found myself at the point of a gun inviting me cordially to follow them. My head drooped. Indeed. Resistance was futile. With hanging shoulders I trudged after the Doctor. I hoped that all this was just one big misunderstanding that could be put right with a little chat and reasoning, and then they were so kind to help us get back into our version of universe. Well, regarding travels with the Doctor I was not overly optimistic that it turned out to be so easy. _

_At the other end of the gateway, they loaded him onto some kind of hover transporter. Then I mounted. Four guards squeezed onto the remaining seats and trained their guns at us. We were transported through seemingly endless corridors, they looked very unlike the corridors of the Doctor's Tardis, and were filled with soldatic life. This was indeed a military vessel... A most impressive one. The Doctor hunched in his seat, his gaunt face had turned from contorted with pain to gloomy brooding. He made no attempt to say anything. I knew one thing about the Doctor. Gloomy brooding silence was not a good sign. _

_They unloaded us at a prison compartment, we could hear the shouting of other prisoners and barked orders of the soldiers. The Doctor gasped when the two guards dragged him into a cell and yelled in pain, when they let him slump onto a cot. I was shoved into the cell after him, then our handcuffs were removed._

_The cell had no door. But when I made a few steps in the direction of the entrance, the guard mumbled with a haughty grin. „Wouldn't try out the force field if I were you." He laughed and they left._

_I went to look after the Doctor, but he had turned to the coarse stone wall of the cell and was covering his head with one arm. He obviously tried to hide it, he was crying and I felt, it was better to leave him alone. I made myself as comfortable as possible under the given circumstances on one of the other cots, leaning my back against the warm stone wall. Great! THIS was meant to sort out my problems? The Doctor had to be kidding me! I sighed and rubbed my still aching temples. After some time he calmed down and just lay there, eyes closed but I had the distinctive feeling, that he didn't want to talk. _

_On board a Tardis it's always difficult to determine, how much time passed. What felt like maybe half an hour later, two guards entered the cell. They were followed by a stocky man of middle age, dressed in some greenish robes, which gave an odd contrast to the red armour of the soldiers. Once more weapons were aimed at us. The green clad man went over to where the Doctor still lay motionless on his cot, set down the little chest he was carrying with him and sat down at the Doctor's bedside. _

_The Doctor looked up for the first time, addressing the man with acrid voice. „So Gallifrey recruits human soldiers for the dirty work..."_

„_Sorry. I'm a physician, I'm here for medical examination and treatment. Not to discuss politics with a prisoner."_

„_Go to hell and leave me alone!" He spat in outright disgust._

„_Sorry. I won't" The man replied dryly. He opened his box and took out several small white balls. He laid something on the Doctor's chest and threw the balls into the air. They started to circle over him and slowly, a three dimensional hologram of his body structures formed in the air._

„_Hm... Kidney contusion. A cracked rib. And very unusual energy readings. Brain is okay... Tell me, what's your name, and what is the last thing you remember before you materialized."_

„_I'm the Doctor. That's my name. And the last thing that happened before we materialized was a dimensional rift in the time vortex. We were sucked into it and ended up here. In the midst of this __battle. In your version of reality. From the looks of it, a very bizarre version..."_

"_Mmh. That's what you believe?" He kindly asked._

„_That's what happened!" The Doctor snapped back._

„_That's maybe what somebody manipulated you into, to make us believe... You know as well as I do that your genetic make up could have been rewritten with a chameleon circuit, so apart from being a Time Lord, I can't tell, who you really are... But we'll find out." Raising an eyebrow he gave the Doctor, a calculating glance. Who just looked away. He sighed, plucked the balls out of the air and pocketed them. Then took something that looked like a metal tile from his medical kit and slid it under the lower back of the Doctor._

„_Two hours. Should be enough to fix your kidney and rib. I have to apologize. You know, some of the men really bear a grudge against the traitors... We will deal with that behaviour."_

„_You think, we are saboteurs, then?" I addressed the physician._

_He turned to me and looked me right into the eyes. „It doesn't matter what I think. You could be. Wouldn't be the first attempt. It is quite possible to manipulate you to believe your story. With a human, no problem there. Even with a Time Lord it's possible." He pointed at the Doctor. „Has been done before, although it's a very, very cruel process to brainwash a Time Lord. Maybe you are just used for this. It seems to be true, that you are from a parallel reality. But you could still be brainwashed and used as a bait. Probably you both will be mind probed to determine, if you memories are true or false and if anything was implanted into your minds."_

"_I will never share my mind with you. Just over my dead body you will do a mind probe on me, he shrieked back. Hatred and something I identified as sheer panic rang in the Doctor's voice._

„_We are not doing this for our pleasure...And you will not have much of a choice, I'm afraid..." The physician replied kindly. The Doctor had turned as white as chalk, a vivid mixture of dread and revulsion on his face and I didn't want to hear any more about the subject either. It was best to find out what was actually going on here, so I forced a change of subject. „What happened at Aktios 3? The soldier mentioned it."_

_The physician turned to me, „You really don't know, do you? Well, Aktios 3 was a galactic commercial center that had been granted membership of the Commonwealth. They were building the facilities to accommodate the transduction barrier generators..."_

"_The commonwealth? You set up transduction barriers on other planets?" The Doctor snorted, eyes widened in sheer disbelief._

„_Yes, of course! We have to grant them protection!"_

_I had difficulties to follow ... „What are transduction barriers?"_

„_Shield systems." The physician replied, " They also prevent to be time jumped, they freeze access to the shielded place in one linear time. Actually they take the place out of the normal space time continuum to some extent. All the shields are tuned to Gallifreyan standard time."_

„_So you prevent time travel?" The Doctor asked, now sceptically curious._

„_Yes. We restrict it. Aktios was attacked 2 months before the barrier was ready. Rebel Time Lords brought in Viryan raiders by Tardis while they kept the fleet engaged elsewhere. In a few hours they massacred the population, took hostages and killed the survivors with biological weapons. Then they left. They had no strategic goals there, it was sheer terrorism. Just to provoke the White Lord and scare possible Commonwealth applicants. The man who mistreated you had family on Aktios 3..."_

_The Doctor looked up. "The White Lord? Who is that? What about the Lord Presidents who ruled Gallifrey since the times of Rassilon?" He asked breathlessly._

"_Well, not since the great war."_

"_A geat war! What great war!" The Doctor asked cautiously, almost as if he dreaded the answer. _

"_The great time war. He ended the war and defeated the enemies. You could say, he's some kind of emperor now. That Gallifrey lives came with a price. That price is the White Lord."_

„_What! An emperor?" _

„_Yes. Well... " The physician was obviously not entirely comfortable to address this subject. He cleared his throat, and paused for a moment, "So, where were we, yes... The rebels. They are led by __a mad Time Lord called The Master." The Doctor looked up. „Ah, I see, you know the name. Well, then... ." He sighed and got up _

„_When we are back to Gallifrey, you will better cooperate." He wanted to turn to leave._

„_What year is this here?" The Doctor asked him._

_He gave him a pensive look, „It's the 27th_ _cycle, the year 29692."_

"_And the Daleks?"_

"_Well... Exterminated. Extinct. As I told you. The White Lord defeated them, once and for all." _

_The physician was at the door, when the Doctor addressed him once more, still visibly struggling to digest what he just heard, "Wait! Please tell that officer... tell him... I'm sorry for his family. Tell him... I know, what it feels like. And I won't hold against him what he did."_

_He held the Doctor's gaze for a moment, then he nodded thoughtfully. _

_"Hm, yes. I´ll let him know." Then he left, along with the guards. For a while I watched the Doctor struggle with the facts, we had just been presented with. I was struggling with something, too. A nagging worry, and finally I voiced it._

„_Doctor, what, if we were really brainwashed?"_

_I jolted him out of his musing and got a puzzled look back, as if it hadn't even occurred to him, that there was a possibility, that what the physician had suggested might be the truth. „Well..." He somehow looked into himself for quite a while before he replied. „Naah, can't be... No, no. I would notice that... hm..." He scratched his cheek, and came to a final conclusion „No. I don't believe it!"_

„_But could it be?" I insisted._

_His self confident attitude crumbled a tiny little bit when he replied, weighing his words, „Well, yes, technically... maybe...could be. But still. I don't believe it."_

"_And this mind probe procedure is dangerous?"_

"_It's humiliating. And quite unpleasant. Not so much for you as for me, though. A Time Lord's consciousness has a few layers humans don't have. So the subconscious routines are a lot more complex. The more complex, the more can be disturbed. And it's getting both of us into hot water, if they find anything and try to analyse and remove it. Because that is dangerous. Still." He swallowed hard, "You'll be unconscious during the procedure." He took a deep breath, "I won't" _

_I had nothing to say to that. It seemed, I wasn't the only one with problems in this room.  
_


	3. Chapter 3

"So who is that ominous White Lord then?" I asked.

"That's how the Gallifreyan term translated for you? Hm. Honestly, I've no idea who or what he is. 'White Lord' is a most unlikely term in Gallifreyan for a ruler. Like in some earth cultures, here white is a color of mourning. It has connotations of fate, even misfortune. It's not quite as bad as a 'Dark Lord' in English, but still... It's off. No Time Lord in his right mind would call himself that. But I'm sure we'll find out, whether we like it or not."

After some other guards brought dinner later, I noticed him picking tensely at it and inquired, "Is the mind probe worrying you?"

He looked up. "Ah, the mind probe might be the least of my problems..." he replied in a coarse voice, burying his head in his hands. "This here feels so ... so wrong. I wasn't on the best terms with my people. In our universe, you know. I was in exile. They tried to execute me. Twice! But when it was convenient I had to pull their chestnuts out of the fire for them...No idea what this lot will do with us." His voice trailed off.

"You miss them, don't you?" I cautiously asked him, he didn't reply, but from the horrified look on his face I guessed I had hit a nerve. "Maybe you could stay here..."

"Do I want to stay in a place where anybody who doesn't do their bidding finds himself at the point of some horrible weapon? Back in our universe at least they chose not to intervene. This place is even worse then my Gallifrey used to be," he snapped back at me.

"Yes, but they won the time war. And supporting a commonwealth, handing out those shields to unprotected worlds, doesn't sound so sociopathic."

He sighed resignedly and rubbed his forehead. "Yes. True. Maybe I'm a fool...I just... can't..." He sighed and fell silent and once again into his brooding mode.

The shouting and noise of the other prisoners, the worries for my future and the restlessness of the Doctor kept me awake for the greater part of the night. The breakfast was stale. Some time after it an alarm rang through the corridors, and then the familiar howling of a Tardis engine ran through the structure of the ship with a deep vibration. A moment later the place started to shake. When it came to a halt and the noise had faded away, guards lead by an officer turned up. We were handcuffed and loaded on the same kind of hover vehicle as on our way to the cell. When the Doctor tried to address the officer, he was rudely silenced. Our way on that transporter led us through the seemingly endless corridors, and then through some sort of gate into a large hall. We dismounted at gunpoint while the officer whipped out a small communication device. "Two prisoners along with 5 guards ready to transmat to Orbital 3, psychic abuse facility." Then the cold blackness of of a teleport washed over me.

I gaped at the place where we materialized. It looked very different to the stark military architecture we had seen before. The walls of the oddly angled hall were painted in warm colors and decorated with abstract ornaments that in their alienness I found quite aesthetically pleasing. It reminded me of the design in some areas of the Doctor's Tardis. Was this Gallifreyan design?

We were awaited by a short elderly woman in the same bottle-green robe as the physicians, along with four guards, or wardens, or whatever they were, dressed in white overalls. The soldiers glanced around nervously; obviously this place scared them, despite its friendly appearance.

"The two new patients who supposedly fell through a dimensional portal?" the woman asked.

"Yes, Doctor Aediras." The officer saluted.

"Wait, wait, wait! I'm not sick. So I'm not a patient! And I'm certainly not your patient. I want to see an official!" the Doctor shouted in a completely irrational outburst of rage. Or was it fear?

"Doctor - that's what you are called aren't you?" She eyed him with outright curiosity. "Well, for the moment I am the official you demand to see. I want you both to understand that we are not your enemies. It's for your own safety, and ours. We found you in the middle of a rebel raid on a colony. How likely is it that you materialized by accident right there? Right then? To have a picnic, or what? You know, we have been baited like that before! Whatever the truth is, we do our best to help! We don't mind probe to torture." The Doctor rolled his eyes with an exasperated gasp as a reply.

"You may leave now." She gestured at the bunch of very relieved soldiers. And to the wardens, "Bring the human to my treatment room and confine the Time Lord in the infirmary. See that he doesn't escape. I guess he's quite good at that." Then she left us. Two of the wardens led the struggling Doctor away.

"No! You can't do that! You have no right!" His shouting echoed through the hall.

I gulped down the lump in my throat. He'd lost his nerve. That was something that scared me more than whatever these Time Lords were about to do to me. We were in this together, so my personal problems with the Doctor were not that important at the moment.

"Doctor! Maybe I can prove that we both haven't been manipulated. Because if I haven't, you can't have been either, can you?"

He turned to me, still struggling with the wardens, surprise and something else unreadable on his face. Then he nodded slowly and gave up his useless protest. I felt a hand on my back. "This way." The warden pointed to a corridor to my left and I allowed them to lead me down a few more hallways and lofty galleries with bizarre red and silver leaved indoor plants. They opened a door, led me in and the door closed silently behind us; then they removed the manacles. At the other end of the room stood a chair. The sight of it made me take a few involuntary steps backward until my back hit the closed door. It looked slightly like a dentist's chair, but with the sympathetic addition of clamps to restrain the patient to it. The wardens made an attempt to grab my wrists but the physician stopped them.

"I know. Most people who come through this door react that way," she addressed me very kindly. "With the exception of those who are so disturbed and in agony, from whatever was done to them, that they are willing to endure everything just to make it stop. Your Time Lord companion has given you an idea of what awaits you here?"

"That you will turn my mind upside down and inside out, to see if you find any traces of manipulation. That it might have unpleasant after effects and that it's even worse for him. Please, if you don't find anything suspicious in my head, can you just spare him? And then let us go?"

"That's why I chose to examine you first. You're friends, aren't you?" Well, I had rather mixed feelings toward the Doctor. I considered him more somebody who haunted me than a friend. Still, I didn't want him to be mind probed. I guessed I hadn't yet made up my mind as to what the nature of my relationship with the Doctor was.

"Is that necessary?" I asked her, pointing at the chair.

"Yes, it is. For my safety. A lot of my patients riot when they are brought here. But even if they don't, when the process triggers some kinds of.. well... manipulations, the patient might attack me. So I have to use it."

I swallowed and nodded. "What are the unpleasant after effects?"

"Memories and emotions popping up in your mind for a few days. It can be quite vivid in the beginning. You might feel dizzy too. You'll need to avoid stress for several days. But you won't be alone."

"So you'll see all of my mind?"

"Yes, I will. But you know, I don't care much about the sex life and everyday affairs of my patients. After some centuries of this work it's a lot less interesting than you might think."

I nodded slowly, not really convinced. "So this is confidential? And what happens if you find any manipulations?"

"I'm a physician, so of course it's confidential – with the exception of any information concerning our enemies, or major criminal activities. If I find manipulations, well, I'll try my best to repair whatever damage was done. Beyond that I won't do anything to you. I really have seen the worst things. So there is nothing you need to be embarrassed about. And it's a standard procedure for any non-Gallifreyan personnel with security clearance. So it's pretty much approved and safe!" she assured me.

She led me over to the chair. I sat down very cautiously, as if the thing could attack me any moment. She took me by the shoulders, moved me into position and fixed the first sets of clamps around my body and legs with a horrible clicking sound. "Do you want me to tell you what I'm going to do?" she asked.

"No, I have an idea what's going to happen." She raised an eyebrow at my statement but said nothing. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath. "Please! Just, let's get this over with..." She fixed the rest of the clamps, including a neck brace up to my chin and some head pieces, immobilizing me completely. I couldn't decide whether to fight the panic or surrender to it. She got herself a stool, took a place by my side and lightly touched my temples. I looked into her deep blue eyes.

When I woke, I was in a room decorated in friendly colours and dimly lit, on a bed and covered with blankets. The Doctor was there and he came over to me when he noticed that I was awake.

"Aw, what was in that drink last night!" I moaned and closed my eyes to stop the spinning.

"Do you remember where we are and what happened?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah.. A truck hit me! And I'm in hospital. Can I have an aspirin, please?"

"David, stop babbling! What do you remember?"

Unwillingly I half opened my eyes, and racked my brain for some memories. "Ah, Tardis malfunction, Time Lords, captured, mind probe, headache." I summed up what I could dig out. He smiled a relieved smile at me and laid a hand on my head.

"Yeah. That's good. Now try to get some sleep."

"Have they done it to you?" I whispered.

"No. And looks like they won't. Dr. Aediras found enough evidence in your mind that we haven't been brainwashed and are both not in league with any of their enemies."

"Oh good! And will they set us free now?"

"No, for some reason they won't. But she wouldn't tell me why," he replied wearily. "Don't worry. You need rest now. And if you start to feel weird - I mean, weirder than you do now, call me. I'll be in my room next door."

"Where is Dr. Aediras? I have a bad headache. Can she..."

"She said it should subside within a few hours. And she said I'm qualified to look after you." With that he left me. Indeed, the headache wore off quickly and soon I felt very much like my old self. A while later I must have dozed off.

Suddenly a horrible sensation gripped me. I was running. Running for my life, but then they cornered me in the the backyard of the supermarket. Tom, Bryan and two others that I didn't know, and their spiteful grins and the pain of the bruises of our last encounter, gave me a very clear picture of what was to follow now... I heard a faint voice, like somebody calling me from very far. "David! Look at me! Snap out of it!"

But I just stared transfixed at Tom, who planted himself in front of me with a malicious grin on his face and a length of barbed wire in his hands. My heart was racing and my head empty of anything except panic.

"David, stay with me, this is just your memories. Look into my eyes!" The voice echoed in my head, more urgently now; but still I couldn't do anything but stare at the boys, who were drawing closer.

I felt a stinging pain on my cheek and something like a shadow fell over me. I felt a pair of deep brown eyes locking into mine, along with the image of Tom the bully of my school days; two realities clashing, fighting painfully for their right to exist in my mind. I struggled in panic, then the familiar face belonging to those dark eyes came into focus. The panic slowly died down along with the horrible images. I lay on the bed, doubled up, my heart racing, next to me the Doctor. I broke away from his gaze and closed my eyes. "Oh, wow! Fits of memories, she said! That was as real as a horror trip on LSD... "

"You might have a few more, until your mind has settled. Do you think you can call me immediately when you notice the symptoms next time, before they take you over?"

I swallowed and nodded. "I will. If I'm awake."

The Doctor looked unsettled and jumpy. He usually hid uneasiness under a facade of cheerful mania, and if at all, his other side only showed under the worst of conditions. And usually he got over it rather quickly. But locked up here, he reminded me of a caged, frightened wolf. And by the look of him, he was loosing his stubborn struggle to hide it.


	4. Chapter 4

_He helped me through another fit later that day. When I had somewhat recovered from it, he handed me a kind of pink pear fruit from the basket on the table. "Look at it and concentrate. But not too hard, just focus on it and hold that focus." he demanded._

"_What's that for?" I asked him quite puzzled_

"_Exercise. I'm quite sure, you can learn to get a grip on these fits yourself." I tried for a while until he was satisfied. When some weird mood swings announced another one, the Doctor just handed me the fruit. "Look at it, don't loose the focus, don't go drifting" He reminded me of his instructions and forced me through the battle with a seizure. This time it was a particularly nasty experience of love sickness and depression, when my ex ex girlfriend had dumped me in the most unpleasant way. Or, well, truth to tell, I had cheated her and then she had dumped me in the most humiliating way, and it was more a case of my hurt ego, but that's another story, anyway, until after too long, the emotion and images lost their grip on me. I collapsed onto my bed, soaked in sweat, catching my breath. "it's so much easier with your help.." I complained._

"_Yeah. Because I hold your focus with a tiny little spark of telepathic contact. But you have to learn to help yourself. I may not be there for you all the time. I'm not your babysitter." he replied unusually sharp. After everything he had put me through, the last sentence was a slap in my face. I was still too shaken by emotion and not in any mood to let him get away with this._

"_Doctor, what's up with you? I've never seen you so closed down and acrid! Even in bad circumstances. Now you start shooting cutting remarks at me! It's obvious, that you hate being locked up, and all this here somehow frightens the hell out of you. Don't you think, I might feel the same? And it was you who persuaded me to come with you, so if this... this situation here is anyone's fault, it's yours. If something is bothering you, just TALK about it!" He visibly blushed at my accusations and started pacing up and down._

"_Listen. I won't. And you have to take care for yourself. That's a fact. I really hope we get out of here as soon as possible. I'll be all right. Now don't push it any further!"_

"_No. You listen. With your pathetic `all right` speech. You haven't been all right since the day I first met you. At least not by human standards. But since we ended up here it has taken on massive proportions. And that's fine for me. It has to do with your past. Admit it. Even the glorious Time Lord can break down with something like post traumatic stress syndrome and fear. But now you just start to take it out on my back. Now you snap out of it! You need a therapist if you can't cope at all! Maybe the folk here can help you." _

_He didn't even raise his voice, just glared back at me, "If that's what you think, I'm really sorry, that I have no other choice then to rely on you, to keep up that time line." _

_My emotional reaction to what he had just uttered so casually overwhelmed me. My frustration and the fear finally broke the dam when I shouted back at him._

"_Then I will ask THEM to wipe my mind clean of everything that has to do with you and take me back home and then fuck your precious time line! Why would I care! I haven't asked you to mess up my life! Do you think, I find this here funny? I was just stupid enough to stumble into you, but now I've had it! I''m nothing but some time line device for you anyway!" I yelled, when he turned to flee my room, a horrified expression on his face. Then everything happened very fast. A sturdy warden stormed into the room, wrist locked the Doctor, smashing him into the wall, and when Dr. Aediras and another warden followed, suddenly my head exploded in pain, an unbearable swirl of colors and lights flared up and I heard myself screaming, as if from far away. The next thing I remembered was that I was looking into the eyes of the Doctor, who was holding my head in both of his hands, shaking, stabbing pain and flashing lights everywhere. "I'`m sorry, I'm so, so sorry, David," he pleaded. I wanted to reply something very rude and pull away from him but he wouldn't let me. "Sssh. Just sleep now." And with that, something gentle and warm washed over my pain and rage and fear, easing it, and then everything became hazy and I lost myself._

_When I came round my head felt as if it had been smashed by a wrecking ball. Although something cool on my forehead assured me, that there was still an outside world that was not headache, so I opened my eyes. The Doctor was sitting there, in the dimmed light, once more at my bedside, holding something to my lips, "Drink. It's water. With a painkiller." he whispered. I swallowed what he poured into my mouth and realized, how thirsty I was. I got hold of the cup, eagerly gulped down what was in it and sighed, when the stabbing pain got slowly more bearable. He didn't talk, just squeezed my hand, watching me with cocked head, a pitiful expression in those large, brown eyes. After a while he asked softly, "How's your head now? You need some more?" _

_I nodded shakily. "Getting better." He poured me another cup. I spotted a metal bracelet around his wrist, that he previously hadn't worn, pointed at it. "What's that?"_

"_That's, well... Kind of...a remote control. So Aediras is able to knock me out, in case I do any more... stupid things. Like being rude to a sick friend." He replied with a sigh, "I'm so sorry, what I said . I.. I didn't mean any of it. You are right, I was taking out my... problems on your back."_

"_I guess, I have lost my nerves as much as you lately."_

"_No. You had a bad time, the last few months. And that is my responsibility. But I had no idea how bad it really was. Dr. Aediras had to let me in on that. Why haven't you just talked to Martha earlier." _

"_I don't know. I just... couldn't. Not being able to talk about problems, guess, we've got something in common here." He just stared back at me and then gave in to a little nod._

"_My plan was just to take you to the Eye of Orion to help you catch yourself. I wanted to cheer you up. I wanted you to have a good time. This here is not even remotely what you need right now. I'm so sorry..." _

"_Yeah, that plan with the good time worked out really marvellous, didn't it?" I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of what happened when the Doctor planned to have a good time. It hurt my head considerably, but somehow broke the awkwardness of the situation._

"_Hm. Yes. That went quite wrong." The Doctor replied quietly, an embarrassed smile on his weary face, running a hand through his hair, voice ringing with affection._

"_Maybe next time, just promise a disaster. Then there is a chance for a good time..." _

"_Yeah... maybe..." he replied and then fell silent._

"_Doctor, why is this place haunting you? After all, it's your home. Kind of. Isn't it?" I asked him after some time. He lifted his gaze until he met my eyes and I found that heartwrenchingly dreadful expression there again. "It confronts me with some decisions I had to make. David, I wasn't just there. It was my doing. My downfall."_

_I spotted Dr. Aediras standing in the door frame, watching us scrutinizingly, obviously she had been standing there the whole time, making sure that the Doctor behaved._

"_You have a natural gift with the sick, you know that? If you don't happen to insult them or are the reason for their problems in the first place... It's amazing.. just really amazing...so much like him.." She mused._

"_What is amazing? Who are you talking about?" The Doctor's voice turned ice cold. "When will I finally be allowed to see an official?" Subdued frustration sparkled in his eyes, he involuntarily ran his fingers over the bracelet and reined his temper._

"_Oh, he comes here to help me with patients sometimes. He's been just too busy lately, unfortunately. Very serious troubles... He's going to see you. Tomorrow. Sorry, I can't tell you more at the moment."_

"_So apart from this mysterious visitor, still no decision whether and when I get my Tardis back and am allowed to leave?"_

"_No. But you'll see."_

"_Whose order is all this!" He barked at her, once more loosing his temper._

_An enigmatic smile was all he got in reply. The Doctor sighed and buried his head in his hands. "Would you just be so kind and leave us alone for a moment?" The Time Lord physician addressed the Doctor who looked up and without another word left the room._

_She sat down next to me "Can I check you up, just to make sure that you are all right."_

"_You mean.." I pointed at my head with a strangled moan._

"_Yes, but don't worry, just a quick glance. Nothing bad." She looked at me expectantly. My reply was a very uncertain nod. _

_It was fortunately not troublesome. She didn't knock out my consciousness either. I shrugged, when her presence brushed just lightly over my mind, lingered there for a moment. Then she broke the contact._

_Her expression softened to a smile. "No, you are okay. I mean, as okay as you can be after this here and what he has done to you." _

_So far my idea that she knew all of my mind hat been a rather abstract one. It hit me like lightning that she actually had seen everything that had ever happened to me. Including the impossible situation I was in. And she was a Time Lord, like the Doctor and had given me the impression she was a sincere person. _

_The next morning, when she returned to look after me the Doctor wasn't with us in the room, I gathered all my courage. "Doctor Aediras, can you help me?"_

"_I was afraid, you'd ask that question." With a weary half smile she grabbed herself a chair. "The answer is no. There's nothing that could possibly undo your problem without causing more trouble. Your Doctor is a hopeless meddler, turning some innocent human into a walking paradox. What happened to you is exactly why there are the laws of time. But since he´s his own authority now, he's become a bit too reckless. And he's not under our jurisdiction anyway. We might be able to help him though. If he decided to stop keeping anyone here at arm's length. And by the way, David Barnham, we need your help a lot more than you need ours anyway. That's why we've kept you here and verified your claims. Otherwise we would have put your Tardis into a void ship, hooked it up to the Eye of Harmony and shot you straight back into your own universe. But matters aren't so easy these days." Suddenly she looked up, "Come in Doctor, there's no need to spy at the door. You can hear this." The Doctor entered, arms crossed he leaned with his back to the wall watching Aediras with weary reserve on his face._

"_There is a reason, why we've verified your origin and kept you here. I have to apologize for the inconvenience."_

"_Yes, sorry for the inconvenience indeed." A deep, melodious voice echoed her sentence. The man who stood in the doorway was dressed in undyed robes, he was tall, maybe even taller than the Doctor, but where the Doctor was slender, he was sturdy, where the Doctor's nose was narrow, he sported a prominent beak and where the Doctor was a flighty fellow, he seemed to have the solidity of a rock. He ruffled his grizzly mane of curls, and bore his eyes into the Doctor with overt curiosity. But it wasn't the man who was so remarkable. It was the reaction of the Doctor. His stared back at the other man, for quite some time. His eyes grew large and he staggered back almost as if in shock._

_"No... no, you couldn't..." he stammered and fell silent. After some moments he composed himself, "how could you do that," he whispered. _

_He turned to face the wall, hammered his fist into it and yelled with maddened voice, repeating the same sentence. "How could you!" He glared at him with something between sheer disbelief and revulsion. "What have you done!" He almost sobbed, turned away. _

"_I've told you, he wouldn't react well" Aediras softly addressed the elder Time Lord, who commented her remark with an unhappy frown. The Doctor faced him again, his countenance up once more. "I want my Tardis back. I want to leave. Now!" He stated, but his shaking voice betrayed his feelings. The other Time Lord stepped closer and extended a hand "Doctor..."_

"_No, you just stay away from me." he hissed back at him and recoiled with an almost paranoid glint in his eyes. After a moment of hesitation, the visitor retreated with a resigned nod, fumbling for something in his robes. He produced a small, metallic cube and placed it on the table. "There is just one thing you have to do. Watch the two files on this memo. And then tell me, if you are willing to help. Both of you." He eyed me with an unsettling amount of curiosity, "If you turn it down you are free to leave." _


End file.
